Friday, September 3, 2010

Old Man Carver Opens A Can Of Whoop Ass


This story was entered in Michael J. Solender's micro-flash 101 word contest "Dog Days of Summer" in which the words "summer" and "heat" had to appear in the story. Michael has published an e-Chapbook over at his website: "NOT from here, are you?" I am thrilled that my story made the cut, and appears in Michael's book. Many of the #fridayflash community participated in this fun contest, including the winner: Sam Adamson. Go give them all a read. It's only 101 words. You can read them by clicking on the links above.


The TV was loud. A Miami Heat game. Old Man Carver, asleep in his recliner, sparse grey hair flying in the summer breeze through the open window, didn’t hear the intruder enter the decrepit farmhouse. 
Boots (the cat) heard and saw; hissing from atop the parlor table, fur rising. 
“Who that?” Carver shook himself awake, then looking up, saw who. 
“The hell with you! I 'aint goin’!” 
The intruder said nothing. 
Carver stood, brandishing fists. “Try me, you bastard!” 
Minutes later, the black-hooded figure limped up the lane, fiddling with a PDA. 
“I was so sure it was today,” Death whimpered. 

29 comments:

  1. Ha! Cute story, Maria. The 101 word count was tough to hit.

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  2. Nice. Death getting his schedule wrong; you'd think they'd have better tech in the Otherworlds - or maybe he's using AT&T so it's worse. LOL!

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  3. Danielle;

    Thanks for stopping by. Yes, it was a very challenging writing contest. I used to write 100 word stories, called drabbles, and it's not really my forte. I'm glad you liked it! :)

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  4. Vandamir;

    Hahaha! Yea, I'd sure hate to be his secretary when he gets back to the office. LOL. Probably has AT&T. The only reason I haven't gotten an iPhone yet, and I so do want one!!

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  6. It's always good when we can get one over on death. I like the image of him limping away.

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  7. Good one! Old Man Carver is as sharp as his name. Too bad for Death.

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  8. Tim;

    Thanks...I feel like I'm cheating Death whenever I can wake up in the morning!

    Eric;

    Thanks! Yes...too bad. But he'll be back. He's as sure as taxes and bad beer.

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  9. Oh I love this, even Death gets it wrong sometimes. Glad to see Old Man Carver has a bit of fight left!

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  10. Thanks, Icy. Old Man Carver is a cantankerous old fart. Only someone like that could kick Death's ass! I'm glad you liked it. :)

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  11. Where did you get that picture Maria? That could be my grandmother's twin, not only because he looks like her, but acts like her too....

    Congrats on placing in the contest! Old Man Carver is certainly worthy!

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  12. Laughed so much at Old Man Carver telling Death he ain't going! And what an awesome picture of the feisty guy. :)

    Congratulations on having this story appear in Michael's book.

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  13. This gave me such a laugh. Still giggling. Well wicked!
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  14. Deanna;

    I got the pic on Fotolia about 2 weeks ago when I knew the story had been accepted. Planned on using it as a #fridayflash when the chapbook came out. Does he really look like your granny? Good on her! I hope I'm a crusty old fart when I get old, too! Glad you liked the story. Thanks for stopping in, reading and commenting! :)

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  15. Marisa;

    Thanks for the comment! He is rather feisty. I'd hate to be in Death's shoes when he comes for the guy again!

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  16. Adam;

    Thanks for the comment! I'm glad Old Man Carver made you giggle.

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  17. *BWAHAHA* Lod Man Carver's gonna go out kickin' and screaming like he came in. Awesome.

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  18. Monica;

    Thank for the comment! Yes, he is! Almost makes you feel sorry for Death. Almost. LOL. ;)

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  19. Congrats on making the chapbook! And it's a great story. Too funny.

    Like Deanna, I could be related to the guy in the picture.

    And poor Death, getting his schedule wrong. Hilarious stuff!

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  20. Haha, Death was early. I really like that twist - off schedule, gets his butt kicked.

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  21. Gracie;

    Thanks for the comment. I'm glad you liked it! I think we've all had an 'Old Man Carver' in our lives. He reminds me of my grandfather.

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  22. John;

    Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed Old Man Carver opening up a can of Whoop Ass on Death! :)

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  23. Well played! Good image of death limping up the alley.

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  24. Thanks, Matt. I'm glad you liked it! :)

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  25. Awesome, Maria! Really well done, and I loved the limping, PDA-bearing Reaper. Nice imagery!

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  26. This made me chuckle. Glad it made the cut!

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  27. J.;

    Glad you enjoyed poor beat-up Death! Thanks!

    Valerie;

    I'm glad Old Carver made you laugh! :)

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  28. Now that's an old guy I'd like to meet. Great character and really you could expand on this one. What happens next, etc.? Love this old guy.

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  29. Rachel;

    Sorry I haven't responded to your comment until now. Been up to my ass in homework. Yes, Old Man Carver reminds me some feisty older people I've known. I love him, too. He's got moxie!

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