What Every Mac User Knows

The help desk people didn't inform me that when I zapped my PRAM, it might zap me back. Now my brain is stuck in 'safe mode.'

People Without Pets

We'll be sad if dogs and cats transcend sapience and leave Earth. What will we do with their squeaky toys and catnip mice?

News from the LHC

No one at the Large Hadron Collider would talk about the deaths. They were stoked about creating a singularity, though.

Chicken Monkey Shoes?

My fervent prayer is that chicken monkey shoes never come into fashion. They would clash with my iguana kangaroo pants.


Registered for the "Random Question" feature on the profile section of this blog and the first question I got was "Chicken Monkey Shoes?" My answer there is only slightly different, but I couldn't make 'alpaca' work in a twitfic and not many folks know what an alpaca is.

Last Resort

“Come on in! Take off your coat. Sit right here by the fire. Just never mind the human sacrifices going on in that corner.”

Pop Culture Fairy Tale

The entire kingdom is in an uproar and my parents are pissed.
It’s my fault. I can’t help it. I kissed a frog, and I liked it.

How Do You Kill A Harpy?

The books at the library were no help at all. They said harpies could be banished, but never killed. I MUST be free of them!

Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here

Aria alone could see the sign above the door. Holding her breath, she entered through the portal to begin her day at work.